Control

I am processing lots of stuff just now. I am gearing up for more focused study, change at work, working through the sub-conscious stuff bubbling up from last week, dealing with the inevitable separation from the connections of last week (even though many connections will continue to flourish it is always hard to leave Cluny and return to the big wide world) and of course remembering to sit with all this being present but not lost in it. The nourishment of last week is long digested and steadily released.

I am also aware that I want to attend a retreat at Throssel Hole Abbey. The main difficulty I have with this is the shared sleeping accommodation. I think my need for private space is a very deep attachment. Of course if I am not trying to shoehorn the retreat in to limited free time then I will not be tired and so this is less of an issue, which points to how I guard my self. Sleep is a surrendering to loss of control. So it's not surprising that someone with a control freak sub-personality likes to have his own room! Which shows how deep attachments can run.