I have doubts about the wisdom of starting a blog and I recall a joke about a dog who gave up his blog to go back to mindless barking. However, I find have a few thoughts I'd quite like to share these days so I am going to give blogging a try.
Doubts brought me to practice. Practice? What practice? Zen Buddhism. Oh it was not straight to Zen Buddhism. Oh no. Decades of unrecognised existential angst, OCD, juggling masculinities, eventual work related burn out / depression, and much other karma lead me to the Findhorn Foundation before I sat down and faced what was before me. How was I to go on, what was I to do, what map? what compass? Findhorn had pointed to meditation to the heart, to compassion. But what was this meditation all about? I soon come to Zen and the koan. I was exhausted; ready for emptiness. I became attached to emptiness, I would practice hard I would get to where no pain could be too much. Fortunately I saw the danger straight from the start. Thankfully I am much more playful with it all now; practice gave me my life back. Back in the game, living the koan; the red bearded barbarian is falling through the tree day after day and sometimes he even remembers he is!
Is that all too much? Doubts...
Oh the obsesive element has crept in and I feel I should write about non-dualism and the I in my profile and things /no-things...
ReplyDeleteNaa, time for bed.
Compassion David, Compassion, that's the Way.
Yes, a blog is extremely dangerous if obsession creeps in. When I was seven I conceived the idea of writing down everything I did. I kept the piece of paper under my bed with a pencil. I wrote in capitals '2 o'clock: went to toilet' and other riveting events. Then it occurred to me that I should add 'Five past 2: wrote on this list', and then should I add that wrote *that* on this list?! I felt something go twang in my brain and knew it had to stop. Later I read The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy and had to laugh...
ReplyDeleteSo, have you grown a beard too?
ReplyDelete