Horizons

I am definitely out of the habit of posting here. I find writing takes quite a bit of time, I can often get ideas to come up and gel but getting them into the words of a post whilst not hard is labor intensive. Writing like any creative process is iterative. And my slow four finger typing impedes progress; I am of the generation and background that doesn't touch type. Come to think of it, whilst technically minded (I am after all, a chartered engineer) I fear that the day may come when I need a teenager to help me switch on everyday technology... middle age eh?... Anyway, I am involved in stuff here in the Findhorn Foundation and I notice just how much more energy I have when busy and involved. As the old saying has it 'if you want something doing ask a busy man'. Considering my energy I see that being in my mid forty's has not exactly less energy but a different pace to my younger years. Speaking today with on other gay man I discovered that he too finds that he is much more able to see how he  might relate sexually to women now. We discussed how with less of the intensely driven need for sexual contact with other men, a need very much expressing its self in very yang exchange, space seems to be opening up for some flow of yin energy. How far this might go is uncertain. I wonder how many other gay men come to this space.  It is not greatly talked about as far as I know. Perhaps I should also point out that I was never one of those gay men who preferred the company of women. The only women I liked were feisty and yang. All that said, I was very much aware of the visceral level of my sexuality on Wednesday when attending a performance of BalletBoyz. There is something deeply life affirming for me in seeing beautiful men moving together beautifully. This is part of yet beyond lust. This is a deeper expression of the life force. I wonder- do straight men and for that matter women have a similar contact with this force (not just lust), in viewing dancers of either sex? I suspect not in quite the same way. This is interesting territory, this exchange of yin and yang energy beyond the hormonal drive as the years pass and new horizons open up whilst the old ones pass by. Looking at some of these photos on the BalletBoyz website I see how very sporty and macho the dancers look. What I like about contemporary dance is the access to the life force without the 'perfume' of sport and machismo, so its interesting to see the choreographer play with this energy.