This thread again

Yesterday I was at Cragside and noticed how the fruit glasshouse is rotting away. The National Trust is struggling for money and volunteers across the country it seems and an internet search reveals a number of complaints. Predictably there are voices bemoaning the so called 'woke' environmental and social justice initiatives. But this is just noise. Irrespective of any questions over whether or not we 'should' save historic structures (and on that one I'm flexible but would say generally there is a debate to have here, centring largely on 'for what purpose') the real problem is a nationally systemic one I think. Across almost every sector of UK life there is a lack of investment. It seems that more than other European countries we have taken to heart and mind the neoliberal idea that private enterprise and markets will solve all ills. Some of us always regarded that as nothing short of one rule for the rich and another for the poor and it's no surprise to find evidence that it's not working.

Walking around the gardens I was struck by spring flowers in colours that I associate with Easter as they're so much part of this time of year.

These colours I thought, where else have I met them? And what came to me was those butterfly prints we'd make in primary school... Fresh and bright.

Another image came to me too; that of Notre Dame restored and splendid and I mused again at how if it were a UK project it would be beset with delays, spiralling costs and the like. See previous post here.

Something of various thoughts was in my mind, and later reading this and that, I came across a commentary on the Red Thread koan pointing out that one way of looking at this koan is 'what is the strand that runs through your life, yet is so obvious you miss it?' I find this a valuable reminder, the Red Thread can stand for so many parts of the ongoing unfolding of our lives. Musing on this question I considered what in my life this could be. Was it the inquisitive side, interest in engineering and the built environment, exploration of the 'spiritual' side of life, my intention towards authenticity, the philosophical, etc...? But nothing particularly struck me.

Then on Wednesday morning DC sent me a picture from Bristol of a monument to Isambard Kingdom Brunel with the caption 'Your hero'. Although I've always been a bit sceptical of 'heroes', certainly as a teenager I was impressed by this man and there is no doubting his contribution. As DC said, he was a dude. DC and I have an informal list of dudes- people who... well defining dude isn't so simple but you get the idea. I knew IKB died young but I couldn't remember at what age so looked it up and in so doing found the following obituary:

Brunel was the right man for the nation, but unfortunately, he was not the right man for the shareholders. They must stoop who must gather gold, and Brunel could never stoop. The history of invention records no instance of grand novelties so boldly imagined and so successfully carried out by the same individual.

I found that moving! And that points to my Red Thread.

In Bristol, a city arguably built on slavery, stands a monument to a man who through ingenuity and struggle built structures we still use. Across the UK there are wonderful historic buildings, many built on oppression and exploitation. Our politicians are either frightened to speak the truth or peddle culture wars. The National Trust (who are NOT wrong to set in context the origins of the estates which have come to their custodianship) struggle as alluded to above. There is no real debate about what is needed going forward in much of our national life. Around the world stability is weakening and is threatened by oligarchs as history plays out familiar troupes. Power is allowed to concentrate and serve the few. And yet we are capable of what IKB achieved, of what those medieval cathedral builders and modern cathedral re-builders achieved, of seeing beauty and alleviating suffering. Through our minds and bodies we can do so much that is obviously good. It is NOT appropriate to make woke mean something wrong. It is wrong to wage war, to build jingoistic narratives, to mistake unfair socioeconomic conditions for nature. What I find moving in that obituary is a tacit understanding that it's good to act beyond short-term greed. Of course there's projection in that, but I think we know that it's good to do what serves our communities.

And the Red Thread? It's in the way we see and relate.

Another recollection illuminates this. As a child in school I always disliked PE and games. I'd neither interest nor ability and could see no value in sport. In those days the 1970's, the whole set up was such that to question the value of sport and competitive games was so bazar that the argument had to be made. And make it I did. Why, must I try to engage with this pointless business when it was obviously doing me no good whatsoever? By the time I was 12 or 13 I'd actually managed to extract from my form teacher who also took PE and games a confession in my school report that he had to agree that it was 'all rather pointless'! I was sensitive, thoughtful and interested in how things worked yet I was in an education system that was very much a product of its time. It was in some ways informed by the Plowden Report which likely generated some 'child centred learning' and was likely both of benefit to my age group and may have in other ways held us back a bit where it was poorly implemented. Who knows, but it didn't result in what we would now recognise as a really diverse educational environment. And whilst I seem to recall music and movement classes in primary school (I don't recall my reaction to them) they vanished by middle school as I recall. And whereas these days as I understand it, a conversation around what PE and games options might suit with yoga, dance etc. on offer, none of that was in anyone's mind in the '70's and '80's once we'd progressed beyond primary school music and movement... PE I could get some slight point to, provided I was allowed to go at my own pace and not have to engage in some kind of competitive tedium... I wasn't averse to clambering about things it was uncontrolled relatively high energy objects such as fast moving balls or people I disliked! Games meant football, rounders, cricket and for some rugby. Under virtually no circumstance was I willing to engage with these. This generated some consternation amongst peers and teachers. What I think is interesting is not just my lack of interest and skill in these but the mindsets at work. Clearly, many people enjoy taking part in and supporting sports teams. But for me the entire endeavour is nothing but a pointless tribal pursuit; I clearly don't have the key ingredient. I understand that the cooperation within the team and competition with others and the skill and chance etc. are all what provide the stimulation for a lot of people but it's meaningless to me. What I do find meaningful is that life is full of struggle and we can if we openly explore the available information, make things better. That's what I find moving in that obituary. The Red Thread for me is in the not playing sports games, not competing for enjoyment, not conforming to narratives and values because they're held by the majority to be true. It's in the exploration of what is and how it can be engaged with to make things better including with limited resource. The not and the in do the revealing of the thread and the koan.

The winter here in the Northeast is quite long and by this time of year most of us are ready for spring. And so it is so lovely to see the flowers doing the only thing they can - flower. The rot in the fruit glasshouse is doing the only thing it can too. We shape and shift our environment with our minds and bodies but the wider forces of the universe are on a far grander scale... The Taoists would have us be in harmony with 'nature' to be ourselves without getting in our own way, our 'natural' selves before ego and fear twist us. Those fears are part of the koan and the repeating patterns part of our Red Thread. A thread made of both our true face and the faces we wear as we move thorough the not's and the in's... a dance sometimes in the light of awareness and quite often in the dark of confusion, the patterns of light and dark reflecting our threads...

Fungi Web of Life

DC and I have not long since emerged from the cinema. We saw 'Fungi Web of Life' featuring Merlin Sheldrake. The film co-opts our usual aesthetic to show the beautiful forms and colours fungi can make. Of course it would have been possible to show more cringe making pictures but that wouldn't have fitted the narrative. This isn't to suggest that I don't agree with the premise of the film, fungi are fascinating and as beautiful as any other part of nature. It's just that I noticed a certain construction in the film. A thought came to mind as it was pointed out that industrial scale deforestation is destroying not just the above ground forest but also vast swathes of underground fungal networks which contain huge amounts of information which we'll never be able to learn. This is the case with so much of the natural world we destroy. The thought - we have created a fungi like structure and let it loose in our world and now we have lost control of it and it is controlling us- capitalism. Fungi is an ancient life form and it has survived many environmental changes over earth's evolution. Different types of fungi will have had their period of time, come and gone, but the kingdom of fungi has sustained. Will it survive mankind? Will we sustain? At this time we really are dicing with death yet as a species we seem unable to significantly change our behaviour.

Fungi can terrify me. They rot wood! Childhood family trauma caused by building structural timber decay is very much part of my trauma history. And the nature of fungal hyphae and mycelium- spreading out taking and following the form of that which it consumes without itself having any centre of control is the stuff of nightmares! As Sheldrake is fascinated by fungal creation I am appalled by it's capacity to destroy. This is of course an essential part of nature- without it the world would be full of dead wood and the nutrients for future growth locked up. And so I have to settle myself, just keep the water away from wood we want to stay as wood! Water is the heart of life on this planet and it was interesting to hear in the film that there are aquatic fungi. These are even less well understood than land based fungi. Water is an element us engineers are constantly controlling as best we can. Again not entirely satisfactorily...

There's something about the flow of evolution and the waxing and waning of forms at various levels which leaves me feeling exposed. We all feel this to some extent and so we grip on to what we like. This film has left me feeling both this need and its futility. There is possibility in the amorphous.

Indecent

DC and I recently saw the play Indecent at The Menier Chocolate Factory. It's a play about the controversial play God of Vengeance. There's a lot going on in this play about a play and I found it very moving. I've neither read nor seen God of Vengeance and I know nothing about Yiddish culture. Further, Indecent takes us on a journey from the first readings and shows of God of Vengeance in 1907 through to the author, Sholem Asch leaving America in 1953 (he was subject to accusations of 'un-American activities') and shows both something of the Obscenity trial of the Broadway version of God of Vengeance and takes care to remind us of the Holocaust. Indeed, the play opens with a reference to those sent to their deaths (although the reference wasn't clear to me until it returns towards the end of the play in an action reminding us of those deaths) during the Holocaust. God of Vengeance takes on the hypocrisy of societies and is brave enough to say that Jews are no different to those of other religions in that they too have those who will profit from selling religion, are hypocrites etc. it depicts a man running a brothel trying to bring up his daughter piously and it shows that daughter in lesbian love. So it's not too surprising that the judge and jury in the Obscenity trial and subsequent arbiters of moral values have been outraged - all too often 'family values' are anything but. Indecent is a play held together by the character Lemml - a tailor and stage manager for productions of God of Vengeance. Right from the start we see that he sees the play as moral and he is deeply touched by the humanity and meaning in it. As I've said, there's a lot going on in Indecent and I was moved by it. And that's what I want to write about. Lemml is so moved by the play that he sees its importance and wants others to see what he's seen. This too I think is what we see in Indecent. We see that beyond the storeys we all tell ourselves, that societies tell themselves, that make and steal ourselves, beyond and yet not separate from ourselves we share a humanity and it is precious, vulnerable and powerful. Through all the complexities of Indecent a spirituality came over for me and at one point when Lemml is illuminating this humanity, this spirituality he looks out and for a time I was eye to eye with him seeing each other. I notice that I'm being careful in this post - there are so many pitfalls here - misinterpretation of both plays, failing to understand some aspect of Yiddish or wider Jewish culture and not taking sufficient time to consider the persecution and the holocaust. And I've done a little reading up about Sholem Asch and as I understand it he seemed to be pointing to a common ground for us all whatever our backgrounds. Somehow, for me this came across in Indecent - that what is important is that we see and care for each other. And for me at least what was illuminated was that aspect of ourselves known by many names and perhaps well described as 'our true self'... 'the self who knows'... In that eye to eye contact with Lemml where each sees the other and is seen seeing... Where like paper not refusing ink no matter the marks made... Where the particulars of our dramas recede and our humanity holds all in compassion... Here need we add explanations, attempts at capturing in words the spirituality of humanity?

Election Result

I find the landslide win at the recent UK general election by the Conservative Party depressing not just because of the direction they will take and the things they will do but because it says a great deal about both the political system we have and the people of the nation. Without going into reams of detail what I think we are witnessing is a huge failure by all of us to address the very issues which brought this government to power. Disenfranchised communities who backed Brexit and then voted for the Conservatives are those that have been hurt the most by the neoliberal processes which this government will now supercharge. Our political system is failing to address the need for detail, clarity, fairness and transparency. At a time when it is clear that as a species we are killing life on this planet at a frightening rate; loss of flora and fauna and changes to the atmosphere and climate are now well established facts, we are heading further and further down a separatist road. In a time when we need holistic global analysis and action to deal with the problems we face we are isolating ourselves and perpetrating the very economic folly which has fuelled this awful mess. On the world stage similar stories are playing out and international climate summits fail to make effective inroads as the world's politicians lack the statesmanship and vision to see that a paradigm shift is needed let alone to know what that shift is. Economists continue to talk about technology solving the problems while they talk of continued economic growth. Nowhere is there serious talk of what it is we as a species actually need to be happy let alone to even consider for one moment spiritual questions around the very nature of our being. This is the real darkness in all of this; we are going to go further and further down a selfish, narrow minded, me first road where the basic delusion of a separate self that can have whatever it wants with no care for the consequences is hailed as the only truth. When we could have come together in recognition of the basic human paradox; that we are both separate and absolutely one with everyone and everything, we have instead decided to take more of the same fruitless steps that have brought us to the edge of the precipice.

Across the ages and around the globe various cultures have understood that we are part of nature and have looked into the nature of man. The various philosophical, psychological, and religious traditions have taught ways to know and control the self. The mystics have pointed to experience between the individual and the unknowable ground of being. The arts have revealed windows and vistas through prose, poetry, music, painting, dance, theatre etc. etc. through which we expand our consciousness and come to know our nature. I suppose that I'm essentially working here with the belief that The Unborn (The Source, God, Oneness) through the illusion of separation gives rise to form that it may come to know its self. What I think the depressing feeling prompted by recent political events is about is a feeling that the majesty of the human experience, the warmth of compassion and the joy of creativity is diminished and that we may even run out of time and cease as a life form to exist within the very near future. And yet I must recognise my own projections in all this; the sense of my own mortality colouring my understanding. I simply don't know where we as a nation and indeed as a species are going. All I have is this moment. And it is good; I am very fortunate. All there is to do as ever, is take each step with as much integrity as possible. Joy is not precluded, nothing is certain, there is meaning and purpose. And I am reminded once more:

‘Grayness could not fill us with despair if our minds did not harbor the concept of different colors, scattered traces of which are not absent from the negative whole.’

(Adorno, Negative Dialectics, 377–8.)

‘Peace is the state of distinctness without domination, with the distinct participating in each other.’

(Adorno, ‘Subject and object’, in The Essential Frankfurt School Reader, ed. Andrew Arato 

and Eike Gebhardt (Oxford: Blackwell, 1978), 497–511 (p. 500).)

That I have the above quotes is due to my wonderful partner DC. That we have each other is so amazing and rich that nothing in these apparently dark times should make us abandon the colours and the peace, the warmth and the culture of the best of all of us.

As we find ourselves surrounded by the festivities of Christmas may we all connect with the Christ energy, the awareness of our true (Buddha) nature, the beauty of our paradox, the warmth of our humanity. And in the coming term of this government's office may we remember our true (Buddha) nature.