Connecting

Just returned from the Star and Shadow cinema where we saw 'Ramchand Pakastani', well worth going to see. It tells the tale of a father and son held prisoner in India for crossing (inadvertently) the border from Pakistan. As ever, the charm of the Star is the fact of it being amateur. It took a bit of getting the film running due to technical problems with the aspect ratio, subtitles and sound. They were all set to give us our money back as the subtitles were not present and so they thought they had the wrong print. But I'd seen some subtitles at the beginning and something told me this was a technical problem. 'Are you sure it's not something to do with how it's set up' I ventured. The projectionist was consulted and sure enough, with a bit of time he should be able to get it to work. So, after a false start and a bit of a delay we were able to see and hear all. Well done the projectionist and such fun to be closer to the technology behind the experience. It came to me that since so much technology just invisibly does its stuff now, we take it for granted and end up with a strange disconnect from the world. Anyway, I was prompted to check up on the marvel that is Wikipedia just how the sound recording is done. I'd an idea it was by light modulation on the edge of the film and yes this is how it is done. In that link following way so fostered by the web I came across the Optigan. What? And so I did a quick google search and found this on Youtube. What a wacky world.

A much better night than last night when I felt really rather down and disconnected, wondering where I am going. I've sort of thrown quite bit bit of my life up in the air recently in an attempt to be authentic, to strive for what might be called individuation, to take spirit seriously, to try to see just what the rice is that's there to be eaten; acceptance. And at times it is hard. Which sort of reminds me of this which points to purpose and connection as well as other things. And last night I was far from accepting. I'll not go into details but I was lost in the middle of too much emotion. And it is all too easy to compound the situation by developing attachments to being in a state of wisdom and equanimity at all times. That old chestnut about keeping on trying and not letting ones failings get one down. But enough, that was then, this is now.

Through the course of the evening I returned again to that thought of just how ingenious human beings are and yet also so mixed up. Purpose, connection, creativity, belonging, love, how come we keep falling into chaos and confusion? I recall 'The Way is wide and straight yet men love the byways'. Which I sort of feel brings us back in a rambling way to this. It's past bed time now so that will have to do for now, but I guess that the quote I left on Jade Mountains sums it up;

'I think all this points to some very deep spiritual 'truths'. Practice for me is about acceptance, acceptance of what is and thus compassion. And for this I need equanimity. Meditation helps develop that spacious mind which is essential in all this. But the challenge has come for me with meaning and purpose. Just to see what it is that is calling to be accepted, ie what is it that is calling to be done and thus to have purpose in the exquisite gift of life, that seems to require much wisdom, even if what has to be done is just to be.'