The truth is that I've not been blogging much of late because my head has been a bit mashed. Yes it is good to put it down in words to clear the thoughts and to have it out in the public realm is a good check on feelings of authenticity. But a lot of the stuff isn't just mine to write about, others form a part (no this is not the time to be clever about oneness) and they must be respected. So have I kept a private journal of this stuff? I did a bit, but in truth I've been lost to the stuff. And separating inner voice that intuitive knowing from the twists and turns of the ego has been oh so hard. It continues but less so; and this too will pass... So, the koan reminds me that it can't be 'solved' by logic.
Last week we went to see the outdoor theatre event Beautiful journey. I really enjoyed it, very creative, very atmospheric. Set in a disused industrial area by the river, a magical world was brought to life as the audience followed the players around the yards and buildings and even to the river. I found my inner critic having a go at me for not being as creative as those involved in the production when I was in my youth. Of course it completely forgets that my creativity was in fact sizable even by its own standards should it remember just what I was doing. All stories, all stories. Just what play am I watching? DC and Paul A' did a bit of a critique afterwards walking back to the car, Bethany and I looked side ways at each other... Yeh, just what play did we each see? But we all had a good time and went back to Paul A's for tea and a bit of nosh. A late night for a 'school night'.
Tonight Bethany came to dinner with DC and I. Playing various music, some of it described as a bit 'New Age', prompted me to consider what the 'shlockiness' that DC describes is all about. I suppose that the question is about the journey from head to heart, the return to more childlike being. The danger, the shlockiness, could be the risk of turning not to playful child but indulged infant; ego not peeled away but pampered. But is it such a terrible thing to take the risk?
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